Wonder who that’s pointed at….

Wonder who that’s pointed at….

Spicy Mexican tacos thrown into the Dutch oven came out burnt and were swiftly thrown out

app advice

The translate your cat app doesn’t work guys, she just went pee everywhere. I just wanted to be like eliza thornberry but instead I’m laying newspaper everywhere. Don’t even botherwith this one

The transformers crew were in today…There’s no decepticons up there you idiot.

I needed somewhere for all my tea stuff, So I made a shelf! 

I needed somewhere for all my tea stuff, So I made a shelf! 

Jack Frost needs to get laid because it’s too damn frigid!

Soy sauce nightmares

We have been cooking everything from scratch for about a week now, mostly Asian inspired stuff…A lot of soy sauce. Last night I had this really scary dream…I was walking into a dorm room of an Asian boarding school right, bunk beds to the left, out of nowhere….Probably off the top bunk, this Asian ninja guy dives on me with a blanket covered in soy sauce, that was pretty scary but it got way worse! As he’s diving of the top bunk my girlfriend decided it was to hot in the bed so she throws the blankets on me! Then!! She rolls over and cuddles me…Im awake at this point freaking out in a blanket burrito, I bolted upright like a vampire on Viagra! Pushed her well off! I haven’t told her, she’ll think im weird…..

People who tag something that is clearly coffee, as tea..

What the hell is your problem? 

The ‘Swiss’ in swiss army knife stands for “someone will injure self soon”

Most likely just trying to fold the knife out

Amazing!!!

Amazing!!!

Home alone with my girlfriend, you know what that means!!

Crazy sex on the microwave….Also we need a new microwave

I like going to the pet shop to look at all the fish tank ornaments…Dreaming one day I might own some fish with fancy ornaments and pebbles…Their life would be so much more interesting than mine…This got deep like the ocean…where fish live…In the ocean…What im trying to say is fish live in the ocean.

I like going to the pet shop to look at all the fish tank ornaments…Dreaming one day I might own some fish with fancy ornaments and pebbles…Their life would be so much more interesting than mine…This got deep like the ocean…where fish live…In the ocean…What im trying to say is fish live in the ocean.